What's Love Got To Do With It?
Updated: Aug 31, 2021
To make it plain: Everything!
I believe love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. There are many types of love, but the type of love I'm most passionate about is self-love. It all starts with you. A lack of self-love impairs your perception of yourself and others, impacts your ability to establish healthy and meaningful connections, and influences how you move in the world. It impacts your ability to give and receive love and blocks you from operating as your highest self. The relationship you have with yourself affects every other relationship in your life.
Self-love is not about being self-centered or egotistical. It’s about cultivating a loving and healthy relationship with yourself.
If you struggle with:
· Feeling as if you are not good enough
· Lack of confidence due to your appearance, personality, or station in life
· A pattern of abusive or unhealthy relationships
· Being materialistic, egotistical, promiscuous, or jealous-hearted
You may need to go inward and focus on self-love.
Self-love issues often stem from unhealed childhood wounds. If you experienced abuse as a child or your core needs went unmet by your parents, it can result in trauma leading to deep internal wounds. This often manifests as feelings of unworthiness and feeling as if who you are is not enough. It creates an internal void that carries over into adulthood. At our core, most people just want to be loved, seen, heard, and accepted. The problem is, we are often not taught how to give what we lack to ourselves or how to cultivate self-love. So instead, we start searching outside of ourselves to try to fill that void and validate our worthiness in unhealthy ways.
The truth is, that empty feeling… you can’t sex it away, travel it away, spend it away, achieve it way, manipulate or control it away or fill it with external love from a man or woman. Using sex as a replacement for love ain’t it. Compromising your standards and staying in relationships with people who treat you poorly ain’t it. Many of us proudly proclaim that we are “grown-ass men and women” when on the inside, many are broken unhealed children who are emotionally and relationally stunted. That aspect of self is our inner child who needs healing. When we heal, we empower ourselves to stop inflicting hurt, pain, and trauma onto each other and break cycles of generational trauma.
Self-love is embracing all of you and the experiences that shaped you: every stretch mark, freckle, blemish, your hair, body, skin tone, culture, trials, tribulations, triumphs, and successes. It’s owning your story and understanding the role you play in creating and shaping it. It’s learning to love yourself through all stages of your life journey-- even when you falter or someone else makes you feel lower than low. PLEASE - always remember you are still valuable, still important, and STILL worthy of love.
Self-love is not about what you have it is about who you are. Please don’t believe the hype we are spoon-fed by the media and society. Your worth is not based on material things, looks, status, or money. It starts with accepting who you are at your core, shedding false identities, and tapping into your spiritual self – your true essence. We are all spirits in a physical body; your soul has incarnated into the physical realm to have a human experience. There is something you were brought here to do and fulfill. Self-love starts with understanding this truth. Your existence alone is proof that you are and will forever be enough. The Creator saw fit for you to exist and that in itself makes you valuable. You were beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of the Creator. An important part of the journey is remembering who you are. Who were you before the world told you who you were? All you need to heal and grow is within you.
I have struggled with self-love my whole life. I’ve experienced failed relationships. I’ve struggled with severe depression, anxiety, perfectionism, body image, identity and anger issues, and more –all manifestations of unhealed trauma and operating in survival mode as a result of my life experiences. On my journey, I've learned important lessons and gained insight and wisdom that has opened my eyes to so many important truths. I've shed false identities, grown spiritually, and reconnected to source. Doing so helped to revive and restore my heart and remember who tf I am! Embarking on a self-love healing journey was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I went through specific trials and tribulations so I could help others navigate through similar struggles. This is why I advocate for self-love. This is why I write. I often question if I’m qualified to do this work because the struggle is still very real in these self-love streets. But spirit always lovingly pushes me forward, reminding me to be bold, fearless, and unapologetically me and to continue to use my gifts to inspire positive change.
I encourage you to embark on a self-love healing journey: embrace all of who you are, release what no longer serves you, and become the person the Creator intended for you to be. Take the journey with me!
Sending you all love & light